Hidden Moments
by owaranai.natsu
Summary: In the end, all we have left are the memories we've made and shared. This is a compilation of hidden moments throughout the years of SG1.
1. Share

**Overall: **This is a series entitled 'Hidden Moments,' because these are (I believe) some moments that we didn't get to see from the episodes. As such, it won't be in any chronological order, I just write them as the ideas come:) I hope you enjoy:)**  
**

**Author's Note:** This piece was inspired by the scene where Sarah wakes and hugs Daniel at the end of "Chimera." Sarah said herself that they could've ended it better, so maybe they have a chance to do that…or continue what they started. Written for and archived in the LJ community "fanfic50". Prompt #18: Share.  
**Spoilers**: S7, Chimera.

* * *

Sarah Gardner knew the moment she woke up, with her body aching, that it wasn't a dream, and that she was really trapped inside her own body. Her consciousness was somehow still intact, and it was unfortunate that her memories were still there too. It had been 72 hours since she had been back and already was she bombarded with questions, not only her own, but others, the doctors, medical and psychological. All she really wanted was some rest before she would allow herself the impending meltdown. Ironic as it may be that she had been dormant and resting in Osiris, she never got the peace her body needed. Sarah was having a restless night trying to sleep, as people kept her in a private room protected with guards just outside. She sat up with the jumbled thoughts in her mind and banged on her 'cell' door. Although Osiris may have lived in her and through her, it never compromised her core values, and despite the anger she felt towards the Goa'uld, she would never be able to exact revenge. Yet, it seemed she could never return to the way she was.

The guard turned around and she mouthed that she needed to see someone. They replied with a shrug and proceeded to open the door. The SGC threat assessment had stated that Sarah Gardner, though extracted successfully from the symbiote (or the other way around), was still vulnerable and needed to be guarded at all times. The guards spoke very little as they lead her to the room she had been visiting on a regular basis since her return. When they reached Daniel's office/lab, they positioned themselves at the open blast door while she ventured inside. Daniel had been staying on base ever since the dreams of translating the Ancient tablet had revealed something, but intuitively knowing how much Sarah needed him. They might have ended their romantic relationship badly, but they still cared for each other, and those feelings were only recently realized when the dreams started. Perhaps Sarah was implicitly using Osiris to get back to Daniel. It was more likely that Osiris was using this to get to Daniel as well, but everything turned out well, all things considered.

Sarah had found staying in Daniel's lab and watching him work comforting for some reason. They hadn't spoken much, merely exchanged glances that only both understood. She would never admit it, but whenever they were escorted to lunch, she would take his hand in hers for reassurance, and squeeze it every time a flashback or haunting feeling enveloped her. He was her ground and clarity; he pulled her back to reality. There was an instinctual bond between the two; they might as well have been dating. No one said anything, because everyone knew that if Daniel cared, they should too.

On this particular night, Sarah was having more terrible nightmares than normal, and she dreaded going back to sleep without some security. She thought drifting to sleep among Daniel's clutter and scratchetty-scribble of his pen would let her rest, but she needed more tonight, she needed human touch. Daniel looked up from his work, sheepishly, as he had been so concentrated that he tuned all sound out. He had felt someone's presence though and knew that it was one of Sarah's nightly visits.

"I'm sorry to keep bothering you like this, but…"

Daniel gave her a tired smile and looked into her eyes with sincerity. "You know I don't mind. I wasn't doing anything important," he said, waving his arm over his messy desk.

She gave him a nod. "Well, actually, I was hoping I could help. You see, I've been having these flashbacks to when I was in your dreams, and you did translate the tablet fully…I mean, I could try and translate your current trouble spots."

"Uh," Daniel responded surprised, "if that helps you. I don't know if it's the best idea reliving it so soon..." He said while guiding her to the tablet and giving her a stool to sit on.

She smiled her thanks, weary though it betrayed.

"To be honest, the things he's done just won't go away. It's like those bad moments in your life that are seared into your brain, and like a horrid nightmare, it replays and leaves you with a dreaded feeling like you can't believe you just did that…"

"Yeah. I've had plenty of those, but you think just being reminded head on will help?"

"Well, what little I can remember from my psychoanalysis, the doctors tell me it's better if I make new memories to imprint over the bad ones. Change associations from bad to good. If being with you and the memories of this tablet were once bad memories, I can make a happy moment with you and the tablet; it should stamp out the old. That's not saying the bad won't resurface, but at least I'll have a catalog of good memories over the bad." She yawned.

"How about we stall this walk down memory lane and get some sleep instead? You're welcome to my cot in the corner if you want to stay, but it might be best if you sleep in a real bed." Daniel offered.

"Actually, this is going to sound weird, but would you mind, um, if you slept with me? Erm, beside me?" Sarah asked, a blush appearing, the only color Daniel's seen in her face in awhile.

"It's only for reassurance..." Sarah said as she cleared her throat.

Daniel gave an equally uncomfortable but relenting smile. "I understand."

Sarah settled in closest to the wall, as Daniel settled in and spooned her from behind. Sarah kept his hand entangled with hers and wrapped him to her like a blanket, as if her life depended on it. She fell asleep in a matter of minutes, her slow and steady breathing giving her away. Daniel was not entirely awake as it was and drifted just as quickly to sleep with the scent of Sarah's hair, a mixture of some exotic fruit and vanilla.

A light knock on one of Daniel's cabinets woke Sarah. "Ms. Gardner, we need to escort you to Dr. McKensie's."

After she disentangled herself from Daniel, she whispered to the guards that she would just be one moment as she dashed to the desk in search for a pen and paper. It was surprisingly hard to find a piece of paper, because everything was buried under his current research. She found it at last and wrote a simple note, i "Thank you so much, Daniel. I had to go to a session, but I'll see you at lunch:) –Sarah-." /i

Daniel, normally a light sleeper, slept through this because he hadn't been sleeping much himself. She took one last look at the peaceful, wonderful, disheveled head of Daniel and left with the guards.

Daniel woke with a sudden jerk, and found his arms cold. Wondering if the occupant in his arms the night before was okay, he was about to call the doctor, when he found the note placed neatly on the side of the tablet, knowing that he wouldn't have wanted paper on the actual artifact. He couldn't help grinning. For a minute, he was afraid of losing her again, even if she was just somewhere else on base. He wasn't sure how he felt anymore, he had lost so many people he loved to the Goa'uld and now he had someone back, Sarah, his first real relationship that he wrecked over his job. He couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen again, but at least Sarah would have a slight idea of what his job entailed and perhaps he could finally share his live with someone.

He went back to work after getting a cup of coffee. A few hours later, Sarah came back.

"Hey, how was your session?" Daniel asked.

Sarah looked much better after a good night's sleep and a seemingly helpful session. "It was good. How's the translation going?"

"Still going." Daniel said with a weary smile.

After a pause, Sarah sat in the stool next to Daniel and said, "Thank you, Daniel."

"Huh?" Daniel looked up, "Um, I didn't do anything." Daniel said humbly.

"You've done more than you know." She said softly. "I'm going to go grab some lunch, join me?"

"Sure."

After lunch, they went their separate ways. Sarah had a meeting with someone else while Daniel decided that he should really get back to his research. He didn't see her that night, which he took as a good sign, but it left him thinking about the night before and wondering if they both wanted something more.

The next night, she showed up unexpectedly, and when Daniel looked up from his work, he didn't see a broken down woman, but a renewed one.

"Good evening, Daniel. May I come in?"

"Of course."

"As you can probably tell, I feel a lot better." Sarah stated with a bright smile.

"Yeah, you look great. How've you been in the day that I haven't seen you?" he joked a little.

"Daniel, I wanted to ask you for a favor." Daniel nodded as a sign for her to elaborate. "Ever since the extraction and the therapy and such, I keep thinking 'omygosh, what am I going to do after his?' As you know, I couldn't sleep by myself and I only slept well with you in the room…" she blushed and glanced down at the tablet she was unknowingly tapping. "I was wondering if you didn't mind, with permission of course, if I moved in with you?"

Daniel looked at her with a sidelong glance and after a moment, he slowly wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug.

"Out of everyone I've ever known, Daniel, you were the one who was there and I knew you were the only person trying to get me out. I know, sometimes, it's still hard because you are a constant reminder of what I've been through, but on the other hand you were also the person that gave me hope. I felt freest when Osiris was in your dreams, I could relive my relationship with you, and even though part of him was using that part of me to get to you, part of it was genuine. I never understood why Osiris never hurt me, but I felt sort of protected in a strange dominated way. I think I reminded him of Isis, his queen…"

When she fell quite and still in Daniel's arms, he spoke.

"Sarah, I was happy in those dreams too. I mean, I was frustrated and tired and confused as hell, but I was happy. But, I had the chance to change who I was and not make the same mistakes with you…I did it again, and when you didn't storm out of that room like you had in reality, I was so happy. I was suspicious, but happy. As for everything else, I'm sure that I'm as emotionally confused as you are. You had to share a body, let alone a mind, with a monster; that's gotta mess with your sense of self. And now, you want to share your life with me? With someone who might be as equally jumbled up in the head as you? I would do anything to help you, but will this help?"

"I understand you're concerned, but I feel safest with you. And you are the only person who will remotely understand what I've been through. I'm trying not to confuse that comfort with anything else, but if we tried, perhaps there could be something…"

They held each other for another moment.

"Daniel?"

"Hmm?"

"Perhaps with time, I could even help you with some of your work, translating. To be honest, from what knowledge Osiris indulged me, I was quite fascinated. I've truly missed archaeology."

Daniel laughed. "And here I was thinking you only wanted to be with me."

"Of course," she replied with a hint of sarcasm and smiled into his shirt.

**One month later**- Sarah was rummaging through her purse for the apartment key while juggling a few bags of groceries.

The door opened just as she found the key and looked up.

It was Daniel in only his boxers. Sarah giggled, something she never did until she met this man, and kissed him lightly. "How did you know it was me?" Sarah asked as he helped her bring in the groceries.

"You left an hour ago. I was expecting you and I heard you rummaging. You really need a smaller purse." He joked.

Daniel looked happier, healthier. So did Sarah.

They both had approached General Hammond about their situation 3 weeks ago, and with the psychologist's approval, Daniel and Sarah moved in together. Of course, Sarah was still dealing with the aftermath of Osiris, and still had flashbacks every now and again, but Daniel would be there. Sarah was trapped inside her body, yet sharing the experiences of Osiris allowed her a moment of freedom. Now, she was sharing a new life with Daniel, an experience with its own kind of freedom.


	2. Betray

**Authors Note: **Let me be the first to admit that I'm not very good at writing/channeling Teal'c, so please forgive me if this does not sound 'right.' This was written for and archived in the LJ community 'fanfic50'. Prompt #7: Betray.

**Spoilers: ** S1, Bloodlines. S8, Reckoning Part 1&2.

* * *

"You betrayed me! You betrayed all of us." She screamed and sobbed, watching as her son lay unconscious.

"Rya'c." Teal'c said helplessly, but with an anguish only a father could utter.

"Do you not understand why I did this?! Can you not see past your vendetta for your son?"

"Drey'auc, it is not a vendetta, and you know it is greater than that." Teal'c stated sternly, yet with sadness in his voice. "The Goa'uld enslaved us with the Prim'ta; it is about survival and freedom."

"No matter, our son is dying. You will let this pass?" Drey'auc asked him with tears in her eyes.

"This isn't how I imagined it would happen."

"Nothing is ever so simple, Teal'c."

"Indeed."

"Teal'c, you did what was true to your heart," the man spoke.

"DanielJackson?"

Teal'c turned around to see Daniel smiling broadly while he walked, not into the ceremonial tent Teal'c was just in, but into Teal'c's SGC room and plopped himself in an available spot among the candles.

"Teal'c, without your heart guiding you, things would not have ended the way things did, and out of so many alternate endings, giving your son the symbiote was favorable. While the Goa'uld may not have been affected by this alone, all your actions have freed the Jaffa." He said while gesturing with his hands towards the ceiling. "Things could've turned out far worse, Goa'uld invading this galaxy, but thanks to you, and whatever choices you made at that time, the Goa'uld no longer have power. And Rya'c has become such a wonderful warrior and young man. There is a future yet."

"But what of the Ori now?"

"We're all human, curiosity gets the best of us. I should know." Daniel smiled.

"And you know what else?" Sam said with an optimistic tone as she magically appeared in the room. "90 percent of what you worry over has already pass, and you can't change that. Worrying over it is no use. Everything turned out all right."

"Well, Carter, technically, we could change things if only you'd let us use the time machine." Jack remarked, also appearing out of thin air.

Then everyone started talking at once and the room started spinning.

"T. Teal'c! Wake up!" Cam whispered loudly at his tent mate.

"CameronMitchell." Teal'c spoke clearly as he sat upright from his sleeping bag.

"You were having a bad dream."

"I fear, ever since taking the Tretonin, all I ever have are bad dreams." Cameron didn't respond. "...You were not in it." Teal'c stated puzzled.

"Was I supposed to be…?" Cameron didn't know how to respond to that, but rarely did he ever did with Teal'c.

"Teal'c, no matter what your dreams are, physically and metaphorically, I'll be there to back you up. You can talk to me; I would never betray your confidence in me, and I know you'll be there to back up the team, always."

"Thank you, ColonelMitchell. Perhaps you were not meant to be in my dream so that you may remind me of who I truly am at heart."

"No problem, T. As you said before, 'to resist the influence of others, knowledge of oneself is most important.' I mean, that's how you survived the Rite of Ma'l Sharran, and that's how you got me through a rough patch in my life when I doubted if I had made the right choice, if I had betrayed my best friend. Besides, you've dished out enough wisdom to last me a lifetime." Cam replied. "It's time I return the favor."

Teal'c nodded as he went out for his shift for watch, knowing that betrayal was out of the question, and questioning that was not in his nature.


	3. Crosswords

**Author's Note**: Written and archived in LJ community 'fanfic50.' Prompt #50: Writer's Choice. Inspired by S10, Bounty, school reunions:)

**Spoilers**: Nothing specific. A reference to S7, Lost City.

* * *

"How do you say 'what' again?" Jack asked starring intently at his French 2 textbook.

"Mr. O'Neill, this is not French 1, you were supposed to brush up over the summer so that you may not forget a simple word such as 'what.'" Mrs. Leonard, a short, slightly stout woman spoke clearly and with an abrasive tone.

"Well, I did 'brush up' on it, but I'm having a, what do you call it? A pet de cerveau (brainfart)." Jack stated with a straight face that obviously annoyed the teacher more, and Jack knew it, provoking a response.

"Je ne répondrai pas à cette question. Le chercher vous." (I will not answer that question. Look it up yourself). She spoke with a matching stoic face, obviously having dealt with students like Jack before, and not giving into his demand for a response. She continued on with her lesson planned and while everyone was beginning to start on their worksheets, Jack was seen doodling on his new textbook.

"Mr. O'Neill, are you finished with your papers? Care to share your inspiring answers and doodles with the rest of the class?"

At that statement, everyone looked up, except for those nerdy students who plowed on through their work not trusting others' answers.

"Nope, I'm fine." Jack stated with a hidden grin; he was starting to get a response.

She wasn't going to give in to his plan though, he knew this much, and stopped doodling and started on his homework.

---

30 years later, Colonel Jack O'Neill stamped his nametag onto his plaid shirt and walked into his high school gym for his third class reunion. He was only one of a select crowd who attended, but he was hopping to see someone in particular.

"Jack O'Neill." He turned around and immediately smiled.

"Mrs. Leonard." They hugged each other.

"How are you doing, _Colonel_ ?" She gave him a look like a proud mother.

"I'm doing great, and you?" He brushed off the subtle compliment.

"Excellent, but sorely missing laughter in my classes."

Jack gave a short laugh and motioned for them to sit down at a nearby table that were scattered around the gym. There wasn't a great turn out for a reunion, especially at a third one, but it was lively enough.

So, they sat and chatted before the 'real' crowd arrived, and even though most of Jack's life was now classified, he alluded to things in his life that were beyond this world.

"So what do you do in your free time?"

"Crosswords." Jack smiled triumphantly, thinking that this was the one thing that would surprise her the most.

"Wow. I never thought of you as a crossword kind of person."

"I remember when we used to use crosswords to learn French vocab, and well, it kinda stuck."

"I never figured, out of everything, crosswords, huh."

They laughed and shared moments in their lives that they had not had time or forgotten to write to each other about. Despite of her French 2 class that started it all, he really felt like she was family, at least someone who understood his boundaries and not to judge entirely. She knew the kind of kid he used to be, a trouble-making teenager, disruptive in class, and all that good stuff, but she knew somehow that if she let him thrive his own way, with a little direction, he was a good kid. It was a fitting place that they reminisce over how their past influenced their futures.

"So, how is everything here?" Jack inquired. "You gonna retire soon? I know I gave you enough trouble to make you consider retiring early, how about now?"

"Right. No, I haven't found another student quite as riled up as you."

"That's good, because I'd have to beat him up, and then meet him properly…to trade techniques of annoyance, of course."

Mrs. Leonard hit him lightly on the arm. "You must give your commanding officers and subordinates a lot of hell."

He laughed, "sometimes, but we've grown really close, as you can imagine. They even help me with crosswords, challenge me occasionally. It's really not fair though, because they're all geniuses in one field or the other. I'm just the 'jack' of all trades."

She raised an eyebrow that would've made Teal'c proud. "You and those crosswords, challenges, you are a changed man!" She joked.

As Jack described his 'opponents'' separate areas of expertise, Mrs. Leonard pulled something out of her purse: it was a crossword puzzle.

Both grinned like Cheshire cats. "Great minds think alike…and share similar pastimes. Care to finish it with me?" She asked.

"Absolutely." Jack beamed.

"So, the clue is 'up, down, charmed, blank.' It's seven letters."

Jack almost burst out laughing, "Strange."

"Yeah."

"No, 'strange,' that's the answer. See if it fits."

She studied the surrounding letters and words attach and 'strange' did, indeed, fit.

She starred at him; similar to that first time he starred at her for the answers to his questions in class.

"Que? Surprised I knew that word?" Jack smirked.

"Quite frankly, for a man who feigned stupidity, no."

Jack nodded, "Fair enough. Quel est l'indice prochain? (What's the next clue)?

"Treize à travers, ce qu'en français." (13 across, 'what' in French).

"Qu'un coincidence." (What a coincidence).

Both laughed and settled in for a delightful class reunion, if not a crossword-filled night.


	4. Some Things You Just Know

**Author's Note**: Written for and archived in LJ community 'fanfic50.' Prompt #32: Discover.  
**Pairing**: Sam/Jack  
**Spoilers:** Ascension, The Tok'ra, Window of Opportunity

* * *

Sam sat across from Orlin, enjoying the dinner he had prepared.

"…Orlin, you made an emerald jewel with parts from a microwave?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"Yes, well, there are heating properties, radiation, from the microwave. I figured I could amplify the effects by replicating it with the material I bought online." Orlin stated plainly.

Sam was about to protest, but decided just to say, "Oh."

"That's all you have to say?" Orlin asked, only because he knew the core of her nature, curiosity. He also knew that she understood what he was only vaguely describing, and that she had thought of the idea herself at one point in her life.

"I find that if I question you further, what you say will go beyond my understanding. At least I couldn't learn in one day what you've just accomplished." She answered with a short laugh. "This must be how the Colonel feels when I explain things."

"This word that you use, 'Colonel,' you know his name yet you refer to him by his rank even when you are off duty. May I ask why?"

"Orlin." Sam started to speak and then drew a blank as to how to explain anything. "It's complicated, and to be honest, I don't even know how I feel. I…why do you want to know?"

"I love you Samantha, and I know that you do not share the same feelings towards me, but I sense there is someone else, and I was hoping you'd let me know how you love."

Sam was flabbergasted, not only by the question, but by the fact that he so boldly stated her feelings for Jack O'Neill.

"I don't know what to say. You obviously already know how I feel, but it's not that simple. It's like, I can go days without seeing him, but I think about him all the time. And most days, it's not even thinking of him in a romantic sense, I just care about his well being, because he so often gets distracted and who knows what kind of mess he gets into. This, in turn, distracts me, which is good in most cases, because I would never eat or sleep otherwise. He's also always surprising me with everything he does. One moment he could be pitilessly mocking me and telling me to get a life, and the next minute he'd be inviting me to his cabin. I mean, I can see where those subjects are related, but what surprises me is that he's doing all of that because he cares…'a lot more than he's supposed to.'" Sam placed her fork down and thought about what she had just said. Orlin was waiting for her to continue, because he knew there was more.

"He's considerate, hiding behind that hard exterior. It's just you have to really earn his respect and trust before he lets anyone in, and that's the real test, because do people still want to know him despite of that harsh first impression? I'll admit, he's softened a bit, but that's only for diplomatic appearances. Yeah, I'd say we are more than friends; we can't not be after all we've been through. It's complex, because sometimes we don't want to be just friends, sometimes it's inappropriate, but most times, we just want to be ourselves. This job won't let us have a relationship, and the sad part is I totally understand and agree with that. That still doesn't change how I feel about him. Although, when I met Martouf, at times I couldn't distinguish between Jolinar's and my feelings. Everything's complicated."

Orlin looked at her calmly and smiled minimally. "If it was so complicated, how then did you just describe to me, plainly and clearly, how you felt?"

Sam looked up from her food in disbelief again, because Orlin had known all along, and she had discovered that it wasn't all that complicated after all.

"Well, there is still a lot to our 'relationship,' so much to sort out that I feel that it is complicated." Sam tried to deflect the epiphany and direct it again to where it was safe, to where she didn't have to deal with the fact that she might love her commanding officer.

Suddenly, Sam's eyes narrowed and she snorted, "You knew this all along. You just wanted me to say it."

Orlin remained indifferent.

"Personal discovery is as important as personal admittance and acceptance. A revelation is nothing until it is expressed in some form. You let me see inside you once, do you think that I would not see such strong of an essence as love; did you think you could hide it forever? Even now, in your daily activities, you are swayed. Once you said those things and organized what you associate with the 'colonel,' it is quite clear that this man is more than just that." There was a pause.

"Samantha, I am still here only by your grace, so I shall not try to upset you, but I also want to help. I love you, and I want you to understand. It's only complicated when you remove the human aspect from the equation."

"Really? You think you have me figured out?" Sam was outraged and almost in tears. Orlin tried to comfort her and offer apologies, but she stormed out, got in her car, and drove to nowhere, before he had a chance to say, "he loves you too."

---

_"Personal discovery is as important as personal admittance and acceptance."_ Orlin's works rang in her ear.

"Fine!" Sam yelled in her car, rambling,' "I love him! I freaking love him. I don't even think it has anything to do with my massive awe and respect for him, I mean, that has a lot to do with it, but this is not just some crush a subordinate has on her commanding officer, just because of some inferiority complex or psychological explanation. And yes, regulations complicate matters, but in general, love is complicated, it has never truly been defined. Anything that 'depends' on something else is always questionable. Each day is a different kind of love. I realize this, because some days I just want to erase his pain. Others, hah, I'd like to inflict it, because he gets so childish. Ugh, it still frustrates me, because I can't tell if that's love, or_ love_. I could get into pheromones, Freudian theories, habit of flirting, nature of men and women…what is this?

I am over thinking things."

Sam continued driving in silence now that mostly everything was off her chest. There was a lot going on in her head and heard that needed sorting out.

After half an hour of aimless driving, she arrived to a conclusion, and at the SGC. She found Jack's truck and parked next to it. She called him on her cell to tell him to meet her in ten minutes, topside. Ten minutes later, he came out still dressed in his BDU's.

"Carter." He greeted her nonchalantly, despite knowing serious issues were at stake. "I'm surprised you're not on base like the rest of us."

"I went home to check on, you know the…" she waved her hands about her head to demonstrate a cluster of sky, as if Orlin merely consisted of her mental clouds. After all, he didn't really believe her.

"Ah, I thought you had a date."

"Um, yeah, Orlin was there."

"Who?"

"O, the…never mind."

"Well, I was thinking earlier today, and…"

Jack raised an eyebrow, "When do you not think?"

Sam gave a nervous laugh and plowed on. The only way not to beat around the bush was to plow directly through it.

"Sir, this is kind of an awkward topic for us, so I'm just going to come out and say it. The regulations prevent us from fraternizing, but nowhere does it say we're not allowed to discuss our relationship. Why haven't we done this before?" Sam blurted out.

Jack was not the least taken aback, and replied calmly, "Because some things you just know and are better left unsaid?"

"Like what, that we care for each other more than just friends? I am an Air Force Major, first and foremost in every situation, you know that more than anyone, but this, this is complicated…"

"Sam, we've already established this. We left it in that room. And that's the end of it." He sounded a lot harsher than he meant.

"Jack, do you think it's complicated? Our 'relationship'?

"Actually, I don't."

Sam gave him a look telling him to elaborate.

"Ok. The way I see it, it's simple. I like you, a lot, but I can't be with you. But this also doesn't mean I can't have those feelings. It's only complicated if you're unsure of how you feel towards someone, and only then, do you have to question, 'what is it I'm feeling? How do I define love?' "

Sam starred at him. Of course he was right, but her dilemma was that she was unsure. What was her definition of love?

Jack waited for her to say something and then spoke again.

"I know you're probably over thinking it right now, and I'm just restating everything you know in your heart is true. Sometimes, you just gotta hear it from someone. And I have a feeling you're thinking about Jolinar and Marty. Let me ask you something: if what Jolinar felt for Martouf was immense, undying love, and you're confusing that love with some sort of feelings for me, does that not imply that you love me? A lot?" Jack teased.

"I must be going crazy, because you're starting to make perfect sense." Sam smiled faintly.

Jack pretended to be offended, "And I don't make sense other times?"

Sam laughed. "I think I'm going to head home now. Orlin's probably made a naquadah generator out of my washing machine."

"I count on it. See ya tomorrow?"

"As always."

They left without having any physical contact or reassurance of any kind, because some things you just know and are better left unsaid.


	5. Remember

**Author's Note**: Written for and archived in the LJ community Fanfic50, under prompt #39 Remember. It involves an AU Jack/Sam pairing taking place in late S8. Sam is running away from something she can't face yet, while Jack tries to help her and admit to himself that they would make it through it together. The only spoilers I can think of is a mention of Jolinar.

* * *

"Ma'am, may I see your ID?" The young lady behind the counter asked. 

A woman in her 40's drew out her card, flattered for being mistaken for being any younger than she was. Then again, she didn't know the girl was new to the job and was overly cautious. The news was playing on a small TV in the background, next to the cigarette cases.

"Oh, and $20 for pump number 3 please," the woman smiled. The girl was somewhat nervous, but smiled back. There were no other customers in line, so they took their time with the transaction.

"Do you come here often?" The young lady asked. "I've only been here a few days, so…"

The woman smiled genuinely and replied, "No, I'm just passing by. On a roadtrip."

"Oh, to where?"

"Anywhere."

After finishing the order, the woman headed out to her car and placed her stuff in the backseat before turning to the pump. Just as she shut her door, some police cars and black vans swerved into the surrounding area.

"Put your hands where we can see them, ma'am!" blared from somewhere.

Bewildered, she did as told, while some men in black gear approached her.

The woman was stammering, "What? Uh, what did I…what's going on? Please don't hurt my baby…"

Suddenly, an older gentleman in regular clothing appeared from the black swarm. He gave an arm of reassurance and calmness.

"It's ok, Carter. We'll take you home now." He reached out for her, but she didn't know if she should or could run or not. She made a move to run, but he caught her in time. While she struggled, he injected her with a sedative, and his heart broke as she fell limp in his arms. He hadn't want to resort to this, but this had been the only contact he'd had with her since this whole thing started. He wanted her safe at home and back to normal more than anything he'd ever want in his life.

--

A constant beeping woke her up. Damned if she could stop that noise so she could get back to sleep. Barely remembering what had happened, she awoke completely with a jolt. What had happened? Had she been dreaming?

She cautiously opened her eyes to see a dark room with medical supplies, a hospital she thought. She instinctively reached for her belly, but felt nothing other than her tight abdominal muscles covered in a stiff gown. The beeping grew more frantic until a nurse rushed in to stop it. She looked to the nurse, pleading for answers, but the same man from before entered the room before she could say anything else.

"She's awake. Does she remember?" He seemed to be talking to the nurse, but neither said another word. The man walked to her bedside and grasped her hand. She didn't pull away, but held still.

"Sam, you're safe. We're here to take care of you."

'Sam' searched his eyes for answers, this has to be a dream, she thought.

"My name's not Sam." She didn't seem to want to admit that she couldn't remember a name.

"It's ok. You've been through a hard time." Jack tried to approach the subject lightly. He looked down at the fragile hand he was holding and revealed the wedding band on her left hand that matched his.

Sam cut him off suddenly with panic in her voice, "No! Where's my baby? What have you done to me?!"

"Calm down, Carter." He was hoping his command would unconsciously seep into the part of her brain that was military, but it didn't work that way. "You've had a very hard time dealing with it."

"Dealing with what? Why won't you tell me anything!" She started thrashing.

At this, the nurses came back to stabilize her. "Sir, you're going to have to leave."

"I know." He whispered to no one, and stepped back.

--

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose for the umpteenth time. "Jaaacck. Stop pacing. You'll wear yourself into the next floor level."

"I don't know how to help her! This has been the third, THIRD, escape. It's like she's a completely different person; she's not rational-"

Daniel snorted despite the situation. "You have to give it to her. Forgetting everything except her military training."

"Yeah, it doesn't work that way either. It's a habit, ya know. It's like I can't stop calling her Carter, even after we're married. And even then she won't listen to me. She didn't escape, she took off."

Daniel snorted again.

"You're not helping." Jack grumbled. "You're supposed to be helping."

"Sorry." Daniel said sincerely

"You didn't see her when she came in. She might've been unconscious, but she wasn't peaceful at all."

Daniel tried to add something before he went all depressive again, as he usually did after their daily 'therapy' sessions now. "Well, I've been doing some research, I think I know what she's going through, and it's a fairly recent discovery too. At least it was given a name recently. It's really interesting--"

Jack looked skeptical and annoyed, "Daniel! Just give me the gist, will ya?"

"It's traveling amnesia."

Jack looked expectantly for more so Daniel continued. "It happens when the person is under very stressful conditions, as with most amnesia cases. They pack up their things and leave. They don't remember what happened or who they are; they just travel away and start a different life. Sometimes it lasts for a few days, they wake up and forget that they forgot and they go back to their lives. Sometimes, it takes a lot longer, to the point where the person has already established another life."

Jack didn't speak for a little bit, but both knew what they were hoping, that Sam would recover soon enough.

---

_"Sam, I never thought of you as the type to buy baby clothes and paint a room blue or pink, but I'm starting to like this side of you." Jack smiled and kissed her cheek._

_"I didn't either, but I guess when you've waited so long, you'd want to do everything at once."_

_They were at the department store looking for baby clothes, not that they would need a lot since the SGC were filled with baby-happy people who had waited for Jack and Sam to get together. But they were just thinking ahead, always prepared. Sam was only two months pregnant and a pregnancy at her age, though not rare, was somewhat risky. They both knew going into it there was a risk, but it was a risk they were willing to take; they were not going to let age get in their way to parenthood, especially when they overcame so many other obstacles aside from their age difference. They knew Jack had particular reservations when it came to having children again, but seeing Sam glowing like she did, he didn't want to take that away, just because he was scared and selfish._

---

"Doctor, is she going to be ok?" Jack asked. He knew that she was a fighter, but for which side, he did not know yet.

The doctor pulled him aside, "General, you understand that her body has been through two tremendous experiences. She's in a fragile state, mentally as well, it all depends on how much it affected her. I'd have her talk to MacKensie, but you guys need to sort things out too."

Jack knew as much, but did not want to think about that yet.

---

"Daniel, you know how I am about expressing my feelings, right?"

"Yeah, you don't."

Jack gave him a look, and continued. "Carter and I, our relationship is...different. We don't talk about things, we just know. Point is, how are we going to resolve this issue if we don't talk- and she can't or won't remember the way things were? How am I supposed to let her know it's going to be okay?"

Daniel didn't know what to say.

"We don't talk." Jack reiterated.

--

"_General, there's no easy way to say this: The baby is not going to make it." The doctor was almost afraid to break the news and masked it with a cold hard face._

_Jack nodded once and asked, "How is she doing?"_

_The doctor looked back, "The colonel is a fighter. I just…don't know if she can fight through this one. I'm sorry."_

_Jack nodded again and went into the room where they held Sam, prepped for surgery. He approached her sleeping body and brushed a strand of hair off her cheek. He placed his hand on her belly for one last time and walked away_.

---

Jack had dealt with it already. First he drove home. Then, he opened the door. He gently pushed the door back into its place. As soon as the lock on the door clicked into place, he broke down. It was a wave that hit him. So many things crushing him at once; the memory of Charlie, what he couldn't have, and now can't have again, how much Sam must be hurting, how much they'd have to work out, and how much they'd have to bring back, how long before they try again or ever, what other options. It was far worse than deciding the fate of the planet. Far worse.

Sam had dealt with it her own way, although it was not like her to runaway, she had to. This was new territory and however strong she may have been before, being a mother was something she wanted and feared at the same time. It was like Jolinar all over again, except these were definitely her emotions, and this would affect the person she cared about the most. They both knew that guilt was not even an option, but it happened anyway.

---

"Sam, let me in." Jack knocked on the bathroom door lightly.

Sam looked up from the mirror and examined the scar the surgery left. Jack peeked his head in.

"Carter, I hope it's ok that I started breakfast. Eggs and wheat toast all right?"

Sam was a little unsure as her memories were only starting to come back. It was unusual to have gradual remembering of her life, but she had to deal with it. "Um, yea, that sounds good." She faked a smile for Jack's sake. She felt safe around him and calmer whenever he was around, so she figured it was a good sign.

Jack stepped into the bathroom to kiss her forehead, and then retracted with a slight cringe, "I'm sorry, is that too much?" His eyes searched hers hoping she wasn't offended, a feeling he rarely had since they shared so much history together. It was like dating all over again, and he didn't like that feeling, even if it meant getting Sam back to normal.

Sam smiled a little at his consideration and shook her head. She wasn't going to admit it yet, but his acts of kindness were what drew her to him. Behind his hard military front, he was a caring creature, and she truthfully hoped to regain her memories soon. The butterflies were returning to her stomach, and despite the fact that they were already supposed to be there, it was a great comfort to feel them for the first time, again.

---

A whole month later, Sam was her old self again. With therapy and a lot of people's support of course, but she remembered the cold hard truth of reality, but she was a fighter and she wasn't giving into the depression.

During one of Jack and Sam's dinners at home, which they've decided was the best thing to do in order to keep their marriage 'normal,' in lieu of normalcy in their lives, Sam started to open up a bit more.

"Jack, I don't think I could ever apologize or thank you enough for what you've done. You didn't have to do this, you know."

Jack looked up from his plate. "Do what? Be a husband, a friend? You know I'll always be there for you. And it was like...trying to get you to like me again." He said with a small smile.

Sam furrowed her eyebrows. "I just couldn't remember."

"Yeah, so I had to remind you, and that was the hardest part."

"You did a magnificent job."

"Was that sarcasm, my dear?" Jack said with a smirk and glint in his eyes.

Sam returned the smile. "You have the license to kill with that smile of yours, don't try and tell me it was hard."

Their eyes met for a fraction of a second and both knew that it _was_ hard.

"What I meant was, I was in there, I just didn't want to come out. But you made me feel safe to come out; with all those things you did, you told me that it would be okay. I wish I could've done the same for you."

"You have." Jack simply stated.

Sam moved to take both their plates to the kitchen, but Jack caught her hand and guided her towards him. He took the plates out of her hand and placed them back on the table. He stood up as if to clear the table, but instead, he embraced Sam whole heartedly. Sam was shocked by this outward show of emotion, but she was glad to have him so close.

They were the words he could not say.

But he didn't have to anymore, because she finally remembered.

* * *

End Author's Note: I really wanted an amnesia fic that showed more of the recovery of memory, like little moments that break through the amnesia, rather than what I've got right here. I think it'd be cute if the tagline were something like, "It was like falling in love with him all over again." I'd really like to expand on it someday soon. Tell me what you think:) This idea was somewhat inspired by "Know Thyself" by MissAnnThropic 


	6. Fishing

**Author's Note:** Written for and archived in LJ community "fanfic50" under prompt #14: Life. It's a tag for "Line in the Sand," when Sam said her password for her 'goodbye' letters was 'Fishing.' I just wanted to explore the meaning of her password, because there are so many meanings in such a seemingly simple word.

**Spoilers:** Threads, Line in the Sand

* * *

"I know this is none of my business, but I have to ask." Cameron said. Sam nodded giving him permission.

"Fishing?"

Sam blushed, but her smile dimmed slightly. He may not know the significance there, but she knew and couldn't help but react. She couldn't believe she kept that password. It was the night of Janet's memorial and she was terribly depressed. She knew Janet would always be remembered, but it also dawned on her that her life was fragile, and that it could be cruelly shattered at any moment. And remembering the way Janet had to go made her realize that she may not have any time at all to say her goodbyes. In truth, she should've written those letters as soon as she set foot on base, but she didn't know then. And her excuse had always been never having time. There really was none.  
Now, her letters, untouched since a few years back, came to haunt her again.

"Sam." Cameron said, bringing her out of thoughts. "Are you okay?"

Sam shook her head to clear it, "Oh yea, I'm fine. And um, what was your question?"

"Fishing?"

"Oh yea. Genera O'Neill brought me to his cabin one time, and I guess fishing has been my new hobby since." Sam answered with a hint of sarcasm and faked a smile, but Cameron saw right past it.

"There's got to be more. No one likes fishing that much."

"Jack does." Sam answered while absentmindedly fingering the macaroons in the bag.

Cameron looked at Sam, a look of interrogation that only Sam felt, because she had known those looks and done it herself. At first, she used the password, because no one would ever think of it. Then, she kept it because she finally went fishing with Jack, and she knew after the whole Pete incident that those feelings were never going to go away. They couldn't do anything about it, but that was the story of her life.

"Well, I told you you would have to change that password. I guess you're going to have to find another hobby." Cameron said, switching the subject a little.

"Yeah, I guess." Sam answered, again faking a smile. She had done that so many times since joining SG-1 that she wondered if her real smile was lost.

"I guess macaroons won't be your first choice...Not that that's a hobby" Cameron joked.

Sam grinned and shook her head. Cameron left her soon after making sure she was okay and didn't need anything, leaving Sam to her thoughts.

_Cassie,  
I'm sorry I haven't been a very good mother…  
Daniel,  
I just want you to know that you've changed my life in so many ways, and don't ever forget that you've made a difference…  
Teal'c,  
you are my literal rock, I could've learned so much from you, and I did…  
Cameron,  
thanks for bringing the band back together if only for a short while. I'm not sure how long it was before our luck ran out…  
Jack,  
I think it goes without saying that this is going to be one of the hardest 'reports' I'll ever have to write. Speaking from the dead, I suppose. You always had a strange sense of humor…_

Sam awoke from her restless dreaming. She lay in the infirmary with a slight headache. She realized how much work she had to get back to after recovering. If only they let her do it while she was sitting in the infirmary. She sighed and thought back to the letters. She wasn't about to change the password, and she wasn't about to discard those letters either. She trusted Cameron, he knew it. This time, she was the one close to death, and she was about to give up. The letters gave her an easy way out, knowing that it might hurt less for those who received a goodbye. She realized though, that despite saying her goodbyes, nothing was ever that simple or easy. Life was not simple or easy, but she knew that now.

Sam went back to sleep having nothing else to do, and the sooner she recovered, the sooner she could back to her life.


	7. Assessing the Situation

**Author's Note**: Written for and archived in LJ community "fanfic50" under prompt #36: Threat. Jack visits Daniel and chat about Carter and her prospects in Atlantis.  
It's meant to be sort of off-key, lol. I couldn't find a proper/better title, any suggestions?  
**Spoilers**: S4 of Atlantis?

* * *

"The egghead convention is saved once again." Jack placed the 12 pack of beer on the coffee table and plopped onto the comfortable, but barely used couch. "Daniel, you need to get out more? And by out, I mean back into your house. Why bother having this place when you're never here?" Jack asked as Daniel plopped down beside him with some Chinese food in tow. He handed Jack the chicken lomein and dug into his own.

Daniel rolled his eyes. In between bites, he answered, "I've been busy, Jack."  
_  
Duh,_ Jack thought. _It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. When are you _not _busy_?

"So, what brings you by? Is there something going on at the SGC that I don't know about, like impending doom?" Daniel asked despite knowing his true intent.

Jack played along, "Oh yea," he exaggerated, "a great big threat and you don't even have to deal with it."

"Oh really?" They took another pause to chew the long strands of delicious carbohydrate.  
"Jack, I know why you're here."

Jack swallowed. "Oh, well do tell then."

"It's for the egghead convention."

"Huh?"

"You came to ruin their fun, didn't you?"

Jack furrowed his eyebrows. Daniel couldn't hold in the laughter.

"Daniel—"

"Well, speaking of eggheads, not that I ever called her that, but have you talked to Sam, you know, made sure she's settled in Atlantis and such?" Daniel queried.

"I've…heard she's been doing great. Besides, I knew she would." Jack said, hiding something beneath his tone of voice, and stuffing his face with more food.

"So, you haven't even sent your greetings? No data bursts on the Daedalus cracking those silly jokes only she would laugh at?" Daniel was pushing his buttons.

"Daniel, it's Atlantis. It's probably a dream job, and she doesn't need us reminding her what she's left behind. She's the frontline now, not us."

There was a moment of silence. "Jack, she misses you." Daniel spoke out of the blue.

Jack tried to hide his sudden interest in the topic, and almost chocked on his noodles in the process. "What?" He managed to spit out.

"Teal'c said that she had a picture of you in her luggage."

"She probably has a picture of SG-1 in there too." Jack retorted trying to deflect and hide a small grin creeping into his face.

They ate in silence again, Daniel perhaps feeling that he had spoken too much.

Jack broke the silence with an offshoot of the subject. "So, do ya think McKay's still stumbling head over heels for Carter, because I would give my shooting arm to see that spectacle."

"Actually, it's that John Sheppard you should be worried about." Daniel said, catching on. "He might've had feelings for Weir, so I hear from the grapevine, and since Weir, sadly, is no longer there…Well, Sam being the new superior officer and all, respect, transference…"

"Daniel, what are you talking about?" Daniel blew it; his train of thought was lost to Jack.

"Besides," Jack started, "Sheppard is the same rank as Carter."

Daniel threw his hands up in frustration. "Forget it."

"What?" Jack asked, confused.

"The egghead convention is saved once again. And the clueless hero gets the girl," Daniel said and settled in for another mouthful of lomein.

"That's it. I'm getting a translator the next time I'm with you."

* * *

**End Note**: Now tell me, do you really get what Daniel was saying? Because what I meant was a mockery at how Sam fell for her superior officer...and the whole Shep/Weir ship. Hope you liked it:) 


	8. Eulogy

Jack was 80 when he died. He would laugh if he knew the cause of death. He tripped walking down the flight of stairs to his friend's apartment, his bones too frail to endure the fall. Even though we knew that space travel would deprive the bones of their structure, he'd suffered greater injuries than this, battled worse foes. Yet, he died from a fall.

My tears were strangled when I heard the news. I didn't even get to say goodbye, even though I've repeated those lines before, facing far greater odds. I thought we were safe now. I guess we can never defeat death. I've gotten used to saying goodbye to loved ones, and the pain is always the same. This time, it stings differently.

I'm calm and composed during the funeral. People may reprimand me for this, but I've always been this way. I only cry and break down away from peoples' stares. They call my name, and everyone looks expectantly towards me. I suppose it's time for my speech, I'm not really paying attention now.

I force a smile on my face, but my voice gives away my inner pain. Cam and Daniel are supporting as ever, but they still have their loved ones to tend to. And though they loved Jack as much as I did, they weren't going to be the ones who missed the warmth from his side of the bed.

Just these thoughts are running through my head as I start to speak.

"I'm not going to pretend this is easy, and I'm not going to pretend that our relationship was perfect. But what we had, one part of it at least, is now gone." I take a deep breathe.

"I'm not sugar coating anything by not accepting that when I call out his name, he's not going to be there. But, I'm not going stop saying his name either. I'm not going to be that person who you're afraid to mention Jack's name around; he's not that kind of person either. In fact," I laugh softly, "he'd be offended that you'd ignored him for so long. So, I'm not going to stop talking about him. And how he'd stop by the grocery store like the rest of those old geezers, and mooch off their free coffee. I'm not going to stop thinking about how he'd window shop for Christmas and birthday presents month in advanced. I'm not going to stop living; he wouldn't want that. Even now, he's being a busy body upstairs. I'm going to keep calling for Jack, and even though he won't answer me, someday, he'll finally be able to say, 'Hey, Sam, what took you so long?' He's ithat/i kind of person. I'm sorry if you never knew him, and thank you for coming to celebrate his departure. Rest in peace, Jack."

I let out a heavy sigh as I walk off. I didn't know if what I said was appropriate or not, but knowing Jack, he wouldn't care. He was never one following protocol anyway. The guns fired in the background, as I stood between the warmth of Daniel and Cameron.

"Goodbye, Jack. I love you." I whispered, as I took a final glance, and stepped away from the grave.


	9. Cauterized

**Author's Note:** I've written this awhile ago, but just typed it up now. I realize that throughout the episode, everyone was avoiding answering questions, but I put in some extra 'interview time' where Daniel and Janet do talk a bit more. Not beta read.

**Spoilers:** S7 Heroes Part 1 and 2

**Summary**: Mr. Emmett Bregman interviews Janet and Daniel about what happens around the base. Janet talks about her patients, and Daniel talks about being under fire. If only the people filming realized it was all too real.

"There's too much blood! There's too much blood!" Lt. Wells screamed as Daniel tended to him.

"Calm down. We're taking care of this. Dr. Frasier is here; you're going to be okay." Daniel with an assuring tone. It was unusual how used to these situations he had become. And how accustomed he'd grown to lying.

_24 hours before_

"So, what is your role on SG-1?" Emmett Bregman asked.

"Well, I'm normally the translator, liason, whatever they need me for. Occasionally, we'll discover a few ruins from an ancient civilization, and though Colonel O'Neill will complain, I spend a few days there, salving their nearly forgotten cultures and see what we can learn from them."

"Uhuh. I also understand that you're not military. How does that work?"

"I still follow the Colonel's orders and back him up if he's under fire. It's not a different relationship except I'm not liable to court martial. I could get fired, but that would never happen."

"Why is that?"

"Why? Because why would I jeopardize the best job I've ever had? It's incredible. I mean, I've been trying to date these set of ruins to correlate it with the cultures of the Mayans and Egyptians, and, and this job is-it's obvious, it's a wonder we didn't realize there were civilizations out there sooner."

"So, tell me about what you do when under fire?"

"We assess the situation, then act. But no matter what, we don't leave anyone behind."

"That's great, yea. What if they've been shot and you can't get to them?"

"We try very hard to prevent that, but everyone's been trained to take cover, and they have med kits for temporary relief." Daniel was getting wary of these questions about military procedure, but at least this guy wasn't reading off his files anymore. They didn't need to talk about his 'glowing' form or what people went through to see that happen. The next question snapped Daniel out of his thoughts.

"So, you've never left anyone behind?"

Daniel thinks about it and answers carefully, "Not if we can help it. But there have been men and women who couldn't make it home. It's obviously something we don't take lightly, so when it happens, it means there is no other way." Daniel really didn't want to answer any more questions.

Mr. Bregman sensed this, thanked Daniel, and left to interview someone else.

"Dr. Frasier, Janet. May I call you Janet?"

"Yeah, sure." She smiled genuinely.

"Now, you obviously deal with the medical issues in this facility, and you're the most qualified here. How do you prepare for this sort of thing?"

She shook her head and gave a small laugh. "We're all qualified here. And there is no training in the world that could prepare us for what we do here. We can only rely on the medical knowledge we know and work from there. We basically improvise, a lot."

"You've got some medical records right there." He pointed to a stack of files on the table next to her. "You must have tended to everyone here. What is your relationship with those people, your patients?"

"They are my fellow officers and friends, and though some see me more than others, everyone is dear to me. I think medical records say a lot about a person. Everyone is mostly healthy due to their military background, but sometimes we cannot fight our biology. For example," she continues as she picks up the top file, "this airman has received multiple migraines due to gate travel, yet he's only been injured a few times. I think this shows great endurance and ability. I have great respect for these soldiers and I take great pride in taking care of them. I'm like their nagging mother who takes care of her children, even when they like to hide the fact that they've been hurt." Another laugh escapes her smiling lips and then she blushes.

"Gosh, I'm sorry, I seem to be rambling on."

"No, no, it's great." Emmett gave his best crooked smile. _She has wonderful presence on camera,_ he thought to himself. "Please go on."

"Ah-well, I am also a doctor, so I take the Hippocratic oath very seriously. Also, I leave no man or woman behind; if I can help them till the end, I use all of the power and will I have for that person to survive."

Emmett nodded. "Yes, it's a very important motto for everyone. On that line of thought, who's had the most 'close calls?' "

"Ah, that would be our most front-lined team, SG-1."

"Who specifically? Or do they all around the same?"

Janet grinned, "Well, Daniel, uh, Dr. Jackson. He tends to be more-curious, let's say, than the others. It's his nature really, but he does have a pretty thick medical file. He even died once." Janet said that last sentence with a little reservation, because that event caused her a lot of pain.

"But you saved him." Emmett felt like he needed to say that, even though he knew he ascended. It wasn't a complete lie; Daniel was back after all.

"No, I didn't." Janet's smile faltered.

Emmett motioned for the cameramen to stop recording. "I'm sorry , I-"

"It's ok. He's back now, so the whole experience was definitely surreal and..." Janet nodded and gave a weak smile.

Emmett apologized again. "Thank you so much for speaking with us today."

Janet recovered from the mood quickly, "No problem."

Staff blasts were heard very close to where they were. Out in the open, it was hard to find cover, and they couldn't move Lt. Wells quite yet. Daniel was videotaping him when the blast came out of nowhere. Daniel knew the day would come when he'd have to face death, and he thought he had, but this blind-sided him completely. He'd thought he was the one who got hit, yet he felt no pain, but then it did hit him. Janet had been hit.

In blurred methodical movements, he tried to tend to two people at once. At that very moment, he would have given anything to hear Janet screaming, "Oh my God, there's so much blood," but nothing. Just silence. No blood; cauterized wound.

Janet's interview aired during the midway point of the video.

"_We deal with unpredictable situations every day, yet we keep our heads straight and we do what we know we can. I know that when people come in with blast wounds or strange toxins, I can only do so much to help, but I am prepared nonetheless. Furthermore, when it does get grim, I am reminded of the grander picture, that my skills to heal the sick will extend to these men and women who have done their duty as I am doing mine. I'm scared and excited for every new day, but I know people are out there fighting for our little planet, so when they come home, I have to fight for them too."_

And then Janet smiles, wider than ever.

Emmett paused the tape for a second and asked General Hammond, "Is this okay, or should I...?"

General Hammond, holding back his tears, said, "It's fine, Mr. Bregman. You did well. Please continue."

Daniel watched the video straight through and didn't say a word.

He nodded to Emmett once and left the room. Emmett ran after him to see if he was okay, and to ask if the video was good enough, for...Janet, he supposes, and Daniel turns around.

"It's good for the families of the deceased to know what their loved ones died for, and that they were in caring hands. It's a good tribute. Uh, I gotta go." Daniel reaches for the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up, and walks away.

All he can think about is all the blood that's been spilled, even before the video was made. He wishes that the video could somehow reach those families now. He wishes there didn't need to be blood. And then he realizes that it was appropriate that Janet left the way she did.

No blood, just cauterized wound.


End file.
